copyright 2001 Linda Marcas - All Rights Reserved

Crank's Corner: Commentary by Linda Marcas

                                      What Do Women Want?

    No, this isn't a review of the new movie with Mel Gibson; in fact, I haven't even
seen it yet, except for a few previews on TV where Mel hears womens' thoughts.  All
their thoughts.  What a distressing prospect, if it were actually to happen!  We all have
thoughts that we wouldn't want to share, men and women alike, and it's a good thing that
we can't hear what other people are thinking, even though sometimes we wish that we

    Sometimes, though, I'm sure that women wish they could beam certain thoughts
directly into men's heads, just so they didn't have to keep hearing themselves repeat the
same words over and over, ad nauseam, and so men might finally have a clue about what
women want.  I can't speak for every woman, but, from personal experience, I can offer a
few insights.  Guys, listen  up!

    Women want you to rinse the soap off after you use it to scrub the grease and
grime off your hands when you're done doing those greasy, grimy, manly things that you
do.  If you don't rinse the soap while it's still wet, that dirty lather dries onto it in a nasty
crust, and the next person to use it, maybe a woman, will have to clean the soap off before
she washes her hands if she doesn't want to wash with some of your leftover dirt, yeck.

    This might seem like a minor, common courtesy, and nothing to make a big deal
out of if you manly men forget to do it.  After all, didn't you just change the oil in her car,
and doesn't that prove to her that you love her?  So why is she throwing a fit about the
darn soap?  Read on, fellas, and be enlightened; I've given this matter a lot of thought,
and you can benefit from my efforts.

    Every time you don't rinse the soap, your significant other must take extra time to
wash it off before she uses it, and, because the scum on the soap has dried, it takes her
more of her time to wash it off than it would have taken of your time to rinse it off in the
first place.  By not rinsing the soap, you imply that her time is less valuable than your
time, and that, in turn, implies a basic disrespect for her in general.  If she thinks of it in
these terms, and multiplies her lost minutes by all the times the same thing is likely to
happen in the future, it adds up to a lot of disrespect.

    The same holds true for any of those other things that you do which cause her to
work any harder or longer than she would need to if you had done your part in the first
place.  If you don't rinse the glass you used for your milk at lunch, she has to spend extra
time scrubbing that cheesy ring out of the bottom of the glass.  Bachelors, don't think that
you are exempt; a guy once served me red wine during what he probably hoped would
turn out to be a romantic evening, but my last sip revealed a cheesy milk ring gradually
dissolving in the dregs of my wine.  His hopes were dashed after my sudden dash to the
bathroom to toss my cookies!

    Put you laundry in the hamper, put the toilet lid down, put the cap back on the
toothpaste, and, for heaven's sake, put a fresh roll of toilet paper on the holder instead of
leaving one-and-a-half sheets hanging there because "it wasn't empty yet!"  Women are
resigned to the fact that, by the very nature of things, we will have to change the TP roll
more often than men will, just because we use toilet paper more often.  For this reason,
it's doubly insulting when a man neglects to put on a fresh roll at those few times when
he's the who uses up the last of the old one.

    If all these seem like small things, it's because they are small things.  Don't fall
into the trap of thinking that, just because they are small, they are also insignificant.
Little things add up, and we've all heard the story about the last straw being the one that
broke the camel's back.  Women want respect and consideration, just as men do; the
problem is that men don'r realize that women see indications of respect and consideration
in the little things that men do, or don't do, for them, as well as in the big things.

    Men are fond of grand gestures and big results; they are used to having something
concrete to show as a result of their efforts.  Most of them would rather put in a new patio
than do the laundry for six weeks.  Nevertheless, the laundry needs to be done, over and
over and over, because clothes keep getting dirty, and women make sure they get washed.
Do men notice that they have clean clothes, or do they only notice it when they don't?

    Comparing a new patio to doing the laundry is like comparing flowers and gifts
on birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries to everyday considerations like rinsed soap and
a new roll of TP; women notice them both, and they attatch different meanings to them
than men do.  Sure, women like to be remembered on special days, but, in the long run,
it's more important to them that they be respected every day, and flashy bouquets can't
make up for daily disrespect.  I never get upset when my husband forgets my birthday,
because he always remembers to rinse the soap.  I'm lucky, and so is he.  He knows what
women want.

love letters or hate mail?